Oooops we’re pregnant! Then the next question is are you married?
Have you heard of this before? I have heard of this many times. Look, it would be lovely if we lived in a perfect world whereby you get married, have a big greek fat wedding, nine months after the honeymoon you are pregnant, you have your baby or babies and then you live happily ever after!
Unfortunately, we live in an imperfect world whereby you may start bottom up or middle up or middle down and that is life and that is okay too.
I am saddened by the rate of divorce in today’s world. Many people ask the question, how come the older generations stayed together for long? There are many reasons however, for the sake of this argument, in the old times when parents learnt of a pregnancy out of wedlock many children were forced to marry so they do not shame the family.
This is still prevalent today nonetheless, we have more educated folks and there is much awareness in the community that a pregnancy could be unplanned. Let’s acknowledge that the two people involved may not be compatible and that should be okay.
Elders should stop forcing children to marry when they fall pregnant by mistake. Marriage is not child’s play it involves real people and children. What is wrong with accepting a mistake and allowing both parents to be responsible? We are forcing unhealthy relationships causing domestic violence and abuse to hit the roof! Come on now! Domestic Violence and Abuse is preventable!
How? Where there is an unplanned pregnancy especially with #youngadults can the elders please stop forcing #marriage #weddings #dowry payments (plus damage payments)? Too many young people are being left broken and divorced because they are given the wrong advice. Already these young people will be working through the shock of handling an unplanned pregnancy then you add the stress of marriage *especially* when they aren’t ready to commit. Two people cannot walk together unless they have agreed. They can try and please you elders but it won’t last.
What elders are doing is encouraging abuse and violence through unnecessary stress and pressure in the name of doing the right thing. By whom? Is it not for their own benefits because they want to cover their own feelings of shame from their social groups? I cannot imagine being forced to live with another human being and expected to do couple stuff especially #intimacy
If you are forced to be intimate then before you know it more little one’s pop out yet there is no love. Then #children get caught up between the parents. This is becoming a norm and it’s wrong!
Tinashe Angeline La
Real Raw Relatable