Relationship Goals

#sunday #reflection #respect

Giving honour where it’s due. A wife/women/girlfriend/partner is not a slave or housemaid.

There is an old traditional narrative that is sang across the world or cultures on a woman’s place being the kitchen. Today I take time to reflect on this narrative and appreciate all the men who are changing this narrative to better not just their homes, wives, relationships but their lifestyles too.

Today, I celebrate a month in my new job and I can’t help but appreciate my husband. I took him out for dinner today to specifically say thank you. He said, “what for” and I said, “because you are a good man and I am very grateful to have you.”

For the past three and half years I used to work Monday to Thursday, starting at 7am and finishing at 3.30pm, so I pretty much had all the time to do the extra things I love doing. With my new job, I work Monday to Saturday and I don’t have that much extra time left. I leave home at 8am and return at least 6pm because of traffic congestion and this makes the day very long. Initially, I used to come home grumpy as I was dog tired and because in nature I am a perfectionist, so making mistakes whilst training took a toll on me (especially when everyone starts swearing around the office when you have made a mistake).

So it’s been a few adjustments and changes in our home, and we did not have a sit down to talk about who is to do what and what. With my work changes it has meant that by the time I get home, dinner is served as soon as I enter the house. Guess who is making the dinner? My husband of course. I haven’t been able to go to the shops to do grocery shopping every Saturday afternoon as we used to and he has been doing that (after his golf of course). I am truly grateful and thankful to have an understanding husband who will not think that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.

Every now and then I will find our laundry done. The first time he did laundry (he mixed the whites and colours and the result was not so good). But that was okay, they are just clothes, I remember saying, “thank you for doing the laundry, I really appreciate it but next time don’t mix the whites and colours because the whites will be messed up.” After all we all learn by doing right? Most times when I say thank you, he asks, “what for” and I will say either, “for cooking” or “doing the laundry” or “shopping” and his response is always humbling, “I also have to eat, if I wait for you to come home then we will be having dinner at 9pm (which is our bed time) and these are my clothes too.”

I am not bragging, but this is my encouragement to the younger generation that good, respectful, loving, caring, non-controlling, non-patrichacial relationships are still existent. Choose wisely when entering relationships, be attentive to the way your boyfriend/girlfriend speaks regarding roles in relationships. The signs are there and listen to the tone. Emphasise your goals and how you want to achieve them, and look to see if he/she is supportive of you. The signs are there but no one ever taught us to look out for these.

Thinking of it, can you imagine if I had to do all these other things and still have to hit the high notes during intimacy? That would be abuse right? Now I can understand, the frustration, grumpiness and anger of some women around the world. They are just tired and need a little help. They might not necessarily cry with tears but their outbursts is the cry for help.

A home is not a woman’s place, what makes a home is a loving relationship with mutual RESPECT. To the men out there, do what works for your home, a healthy home is a beautiful place. Let those who speak behind your back speak it’s okay, at the end of the day you are still a man and that will not take your manhood away (just saying). Now that is relationship goals, not photoshopped pictures of celebrities, when one sleeps with the eye open.

Love Always

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